she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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