I am spending my child support on dildos
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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