I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude. I can hear the air.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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