i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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