I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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