I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
