SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
