shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I will be naked everywhere
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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