How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
