My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The air taste purple.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
