my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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