it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
