Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
