I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
