i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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