be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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