Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
