Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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