Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've blown a few things in my day
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
