All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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