Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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