Got a toothbrush?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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