Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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