remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
