There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
