i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
