i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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