im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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