I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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