She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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