I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
