im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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