her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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