I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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