Whod you bang
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
