I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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