I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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