Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
