I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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