If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
