Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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