So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
