He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
