So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't deserve a penis
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
