Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
