Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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