he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
