Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
