Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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