I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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