Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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