i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
