I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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