were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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